🇻🇳 Serial founder Lars Jankowfsky: Silencing the impostor voice

00:00:00: You want to look perfect, but you just don't dare get feedback.

00:00:04: You need to be bold and

00:00:08: own

00:00:08: your mistakes... ...get feedback learn from it iterate fast!

00:00:13: And I realized maybe the universe is giving me a slap that what i'm trying to do there is not right thing.

00:00:22: everybody expects quick rewards and successes because in time of social media Amazingly successful people.

00:00:31: For sure on social media, you don't see the hardship for sure You don't all the failures.

00:00:37: nobody talks about that.

00:00:49: Hi five guys my name is Joel or as you say here sin ciao and My hobby in passion.

00:01:08: it's a topic of growth.

00:01:10: I love to grow when i love self-development and I guess there can't be any guests that fits into this direction more perfectly than last.

00:01:18: And then realize, growth often happens in different dimensions.

00:01:23: usually people grow three of them.

00:01:25: quite often they are sequential so follow each other sometimes work in parallel.

00:01:30: these three dimensions also start with the W. it's wealth wisdom well-being as you see is quite fit.

00:01:41: Business seems to be on track as well.

00:01:43: So we decided let's talk a little bit about the wisdom and We have a format where?

00:01:47: We try to derive The best knowledge when it comes to wisdom which is please tell me About the five things you wish she knew When you were twenty because they're dearest that this way, we find out the best learnings A person made since he or She was twenty And will record This stuff here As a podcast.

00:02:03: so later On You can also listen To It in case you missed one of the Five Things.

00:02:07: Yeah another than That.

00:02:08: I think all Is set.

00:02:09: Have a warm welcome, Lars.

00:02:10: Nice to have you here!

00:02:11: Hello, nice to be here and I'm very special happy that this is the last session of tonight.

00:02:21: i think everybody's happy so let's make it count.

00:02:24: Okay... That's the plan so far.

00:02:27: Lars..I know its slightly impolite to ask but I think it's interesting how old someone is So we can understand what time period we're having now.

00:02:38: In retrospect, how old are you right now?

00:02:40: I'm going to be fifty-seven in two months.

00:02:43: Hittingly.

00:02:44: Fifty seven okay.

00:02:45: so thirty seven years um yeah and the big let's get started right away.

00:02:51: what would she say?

00:02:51: What is the first thing you wish he knew when you were twenty?

00:02:55: It's a it's actually deep question And i did sit down and prepare this session because I mean, there are a lot of obvious things like buy Apple shares.

00:03:09: Get some bitcoins which i wish could have told my younger self but this is not what we have about today.

00:03:20: so the first big learning over the last thirty years...I'm pretty sure you know what imposter syndrome right?

00:03:29: Yes!

00:03:30: So it's feeling that How can I be the right person in that position?

00:03:39: Or this is not me.

00:03:41: And so when i had to struggle all my life with it, and when I was young... ...I come from Bavaria which a rural area in Germany.. ..and I came form really small village….

00:03:53: …and always have feeling well….

00:03:55: This little Lars from that small village.... …I can't do that!

00:04:04: These people are so successful and they're so smart.

00:04:08: And I'm not!

00:04:10: So, actually there were a lot of chances under lots topics where in hindsight thought i should have done it but never really did because that was like oh no little Lars from Oba Opfingen to give you the name yeah?

00:04:28: The village is as small is not the person who can do that.

00:04:38: And if I could somehow go back in time and say like, kick myself in the arse since fuck it!

00:04:48: Be bold then be successful.

00:04:52: just go for it don't be scared of failing.

00:04:58: i think than this would my number one topic.

00:05:03: Unnily enough, I had jolt in an interview your business coach.

00:05:08: He's sitting here and the second row over there And he taught me that quite often it happens That people develop certain truths is in their head which form Their identity and then they're identity basically leads to a certain behavior?

00:05:22: In Your case you just told kind of a truth where you said okay The fact that i come from A small village makes Me think that only People From a larger context or You need to have more money, be more relevant and that this formed your identity.

00:05:36: Did I get this right?

00:05:38: Yeah it's a combination It's not on the small village...I grew up with single mom.

00:05:44: We never had much money.

00:05:47: There were times where we didn't have so much food to eat And i didn't go on a super elite university.

00:05:59: I just went to a normal school.

00:06:01: So these were all topics which came together where thought like, hey this is...I doubt myself that i can achieve or that im the right person and always looked at other people And was like wow they are so smart.

00:06:17: what do you achieve?

00:06:18: Over the last thirty years I learned most of them are but not that smart.

00:06:25: They're just there to try it and if you dare to try, You can achieve a lot more.

00:06:31: And I did not!

00:06:34: I don't know.

00:06:35: any of you watched the documentation The Thinking Game for Ademis Hassabis, founder of DeepMind.

00:06:45: It's on YouTube.

00:06:45: It is a fascinating story A little bit younger than me, but just slightly younger.

00:06:53: So I'm a little bit older and he comes from the same background... ...but always believed in himself and wanted to change the world!

00:07:04: And when you watch this documentation i was like... Holy shit that if I would have dared maybe i could've been also one of these guys.

00:07:12: Maybe i could even have joined him or whatever because i was dreaming of a i when i was young and i was my head was full off it, i wasn't such a nerd but i never dare that i could be the person who further humankind but he did.

00:07:32: Yesterday was driving in a cab together with the board member of big company and I told her, i also have this misunderstanding.

00:07:38: In my past that are always mixed up at someone who is rich?

00:07:42: Also has a relevant smart character or blood off knowledge in them which isn't true.

00:07:49: it doesn't mean that impact follows money sometimes just coincidence.

00:07:52: right now i'm curious.

00:07:55: Sometimes in life they're kind of portal moments.

00:07:58: so you step through a portal something happens an The the room behind that pot looks totally different.

00:08:04: so it's a moment of overcoming things has been the same with you and that respect about what should just talk.

00:08:11: but there was one big moment that changed your life or wasn't rather a line of things, different milestones that came together.

00:08:19: Well certainly believe in society where value for human being is measured money.

00:08:25: i'm and that's a problem let going to be even a much bigger problem in the future when sixty or seventy percent of all people will lose their jobs.

00:08:37: If we do not give them value, real value besides money then we'll have a mop with the pitchforks on the street.

00:08:46: So as for me... I was dreamed being a millionaire and i wanted to become a millionaire with forty.

00:09:00: Slightly delayed, I made it with forty-two.

00:09:05: And that actually changed dramatically not because of money.

00:09:11: Money is gone already and divorced but the perception towards me has changed as people suddenly thought this guy had millions.

00:09:23: he must be smart!

00:09:25: i'm still the same little guy from that village But the people's thing different about me, and now you listen to me.

00:09:36: And that gave for sure a lot of self-confidence!

00:09:42: Why is it so?

00:09:43: That perception exists... ...that being rich means being relevant,... ...being smart, being successful, being this &

00:09:50: that?!

00:09:51: I think thats'the whole concept of capitalism.... ..and society in which we are living In the old Greek, it was not necessarily a case.

00:10:01: I think Socrates is really poor but he very well received because of what he provided and this we need to get back.

00:10:12: But as for today The world where living clearly isn't like that.

00:10:19: Have you heard about Van Gogh's story?

00:10:21: How van Goghs paintings became famous and expensive?

00:10:24: No Not Really

00:10:26: There's this story, Van Gogh lived in the south of France.

00:10:29: And his brother and the wife of his brother they lived in Paris and had a gallery... ...and he was always sending pictures art pieces up to Paris together with letters!

00:10:39: In these letters you were complaining about how bad it is be so poor or hard life?

00:10:44: He did that over-and-over again.

00:10:46: then all of sudden problem popped because van Gogh died.. ..and half year later his brother died as well.

00:10:53: So we have the widow of Van Gogh, who thought okay what am I doing now with these hundreds of paintings here?

00:11:01: And she tried to sell them opened up the gallery again and nothing happened.

00:11:04: Then she realized there was a second value that didn't touch at all... The letters!

00:11:09: So she took different letters printed a book out of it.

00:11:12: What feels like an artist and this misery being poor?

00:11:16: All of sudden people went crazy because they wanted see picture behind stories.

00:11:21: It's about storytelling instead pure art.

00:11:25: But anyway, I'd aggress.

00:11:26: this is about you.

00:11:29: So we learned.

00:11:29: your first learning it's if i translated its trust yourself more.

00:11:34: no need to doubt yourself right?

00:11:39: Yeah be bold and dare!

00:11:42: Be bold in there all right.

00:11:43: what's the second thing?

00:11:46: actually happy that my wife was not sitting in the audience she would laugh so hard.

00:11:52: um...I think one of the learnings Listening is so much more powerful than speaking.

00:12:03: Yeah, they know me a little bit.

00:12:05: I'm not necessarily good in that but i am much better.

00:12:08: then when I was young The thing here there's saying like silence is golden.

00:12:15: if you are silent and listen to people And give them room to speak You will learn something about it.

00:12:23: Also business helps alot the most successful sales strategy just asking people a question.

00:12:32: Then they tell you blah, blah, what's all wrong?

00:12:35: And then all you do is repeat it and they're like finally there someone who understands me!

00:12:42: That was something when I was young.

00:12:48: if your insecure.

00:12:52: so i hide this insecurity behind the mountain of words A lot of words.

00:13:00: I just talk a lot because if i think like, If i talk alot then maybe i sound smart which is not as the true...I remember when i was in school.

00:13:11: there's..i will never forget it!

00:13:13: It was traumatic experience and came into new class.

00:13:17: There are guys sitting next to me ,a new guy.

00:13:23: I need to talk because it was silent.

00:13:25: So like blah, blah and after ten minutes he turns around is like Is It possible that you just shut up please?

00:13:35: And i Was Like Holy Shit so i did exactly the wrong end.

00:13:41: The older i get the more i realize Just To Listen Is A lot More Powerful.

00:13:49: Nearly.

00:13:50: it Often Happens right That We Talked to Someone Else but You ask a question the other one answers, but you do not think about what the person is answering But think about.

00:14:00: What's your saying next?

00:14:01: Do you know this phenomenon and This is quite true what you're saying.

00:14:04: And also um where to just set with the sales?

00:14:07: I remember this thing was assembly this pen right and usually that says people go like okay This pen has such an ice grip it looks so nice.

00:14:14: The blue is so deep blah blah blah.

00:14:16: actually the correct way would have been ok.

00:14:17: How do you write?

00:14:18: what do you need your pen for?

00:14:19: what's important for you?

00:14:21: but Since the audience laughed when you said that silence is golden and it's more important to listen than talk, how do you manage overcome this?

00:14:32: As you say compensation of talking a lot whenever you feel insecure.

00:14:36: That's

00:14:42: completely different question doesn't go in the past I think.

00:14:45: well...I definitely don't talk as much anymore And i'm better at listening however and not insecure anymore.

00:14:52: Not so much.

00:14:53: There are still some imposter syndrome left went completely.

00:15:00: However, sometimes I kind of like to hear myself talk and then just talked too much And my wife always said please... Please shut up!

00:15:17: So

00:15:19: how did you manage to overcome these insecurities?

00:15:21: Was it the effect with a million being a millionaire what you just said that you had success in?

00:15:26: people are now started to listen to you.

00:15:27: or was there also other aspects and ways of feeling more comfortable with yourself?

00:15:35: A couple things.

00:15:38: When Ari was speaking, thank you for that!

00:15:39: That resonated a lot to me when she answered the question about women because we men are also big softies inside.

00:15:48: even if it doesn't look like so It's mixed out.

00:15:55: experience positive feedback by being successful And also what I did was a very strategic career development.

00:16:09: So, when I was younger... ...I wanted people to take me more seriously and how do you do that?

00:16:17: When in the conference, so I sit here and listen to myself.

00:16:22: By definition it's important for them because they listen to themselves too much!

00:16:31: And I was listening and thinking, i want to sit there.

00:16:35: Because then you build a reputation of being more important.

00:16:42: doesn't necessarily mean that Im smarter than you.

00:16:44: Absolutely not!

00:16:45: I'm actually convinced that alot people here in the audience are smarter than me but I look smarter because they're sitting here.

00:16:53: so what did is went through every single conference my area IT at this time And I found out where the speakers were staying.

00:17:05: So, at a speaker hotel when the conference put the speakers and i went always above to room in this speaker hotel... ...and then I spent every single night is the bar in the speaker hotel drinking with the speakers.. ..and literally after two or three years I kind of belong through the establishment.... ....and people said like hey Lars don't you want a house so have for talk?

00:17:27: And I'm like

00:17:28: strike

00:17:29: yeah!

00:17:29: And that's how I started to speak, not because... Because back in the time as I'm old.

00:17:34: As you heard it was not so there is a call for papers and a committee.

00:17:42: It was more like oh yeah this guy is cool let's have him on stage.

00:17:47: So i did.

00:17:50: second I wrote a book You're also smart, you must be smart when writing a book.

00:18:00: Oh I'm an author!

00:18:01: So i contributed to very important books in my area.

00:18:05: so like okay book check speaker check and what is missing?

00:18:10: I became a lecturer at the university When your lecturer didn't want to see.

00:18:16: then you are there.

00:18:17: So if we look on my CV people looked like our author.

00:18:20: so many publications, lectures.

00:18:23: he must have been a meta-expert.

00:18:25: He's Smart.

00:18:26: I'm not, but it looks smarter.

00:18:31: You just mentioned Ari, Ariana Hinks.

00:18:33: she's ridiculously successful in soccer and i can remember was talking to her and she said you know the tricky part of being a top athlete is... ...you gave it all!

00:18:44: You did nothing wrong.. ..and still you lost again.

00:18:48: so my question for you is since winning & losing also defines a personality somehow how that you managed come over negative experiences.

00:19:00: Well, I asked that question before and they got a good answer.

00:19:03: but... ...I think the key is resilience.

00:19:08: If you look at my LinkedIn profile You will see i wrote for my school of hard knocks And so when you come from poor environment in not-so nice area to be clear back in the days and you grow up, so you need to fight for everything.

00:19:35: And then also having a single mom.

00:19:38: being an eldest brother I'm responsible one.

00:19:42: So i had to take care of my family.

00:19:46: My mom was working all day at night.

00:19:48: She was a waitress on her club So I had to cook or clean the house and stuff like that, so i think this is it sounds tough when as a kid.

00:20:01: I hated every single second of but its actually good for building strong resilient character because Unlike other kids who get everything for free and Everything is easy.

00:20:15: And then when they experience hardships, it's very difficult For them because they don't know how to deal with this in the situation.

00:20:24: Okay So we had numbered one and weird number two listening as more important than talking.

00:20:30: what's number three?

00:20:33: okay It's a little bit connected today imposter syndrome.

00:20:41: so I just Sorry, I need to be a little bit spiritual.

00:20:46: I just recently am now nearly fifty-seven years old and i'm very spiritual.

00:20:51: And for thirty years I did pretty much every meditation.

00:20:55: Every esoteric stuff is out there but...I never understood what meditation is.

00:21:03: Just recently I understood that the voice we have in our head The voice which talking to me commenting Talking in German, talking English or whatever language you are.

00:21:18: This voice is not me!

00:21:22: The ME is when the voice is silent.

00:21:25: and then I was thinking about that.

00:21:29: every important decision in my life everything i did... ...I always stood at a space between the voice where I didn't think of it but just act Like, be it in a crisis.

00:21:44: Be it in the critical situation.

00:21:46: I did not think... ...I didn't argue with myself!

00:21:50: I just am and acted.

00:21:54: And that was very powerful for me because In the second i start to listen to my inner voice.

00:22:02: It's just bullshit.

00:22:03: Then there are lot of reasons NOT TO DO THINGS.

00:22:06: There is lots of reason not to get up not to try it, and so on.

00:22:14: So just make the leap of faith... ...and jump!

00:22:21: And do-it was always a right decision.

00:22:24: It's every single time like.

00:22:27: coming to Vietnam Was one of the hardest things in my life When I came here nearly thirteen years ago.

00:22:34: this country is very different.

00:22:37: Nobody spoke English.

00:22:38: There was no digital infrastructure.

00:22:42: It was rough, it was hard.

00:22:43: People were weird.

00:22:46: I didn't understand the Vietnamese soul people who are not weird and he doesn't understand them.

00:22:50: to be clear And... ...I just made this decision in between thoughts.

00:23:00: i went here.

00:23:02: that is it.

00:23:03: And then I had nights where couldn't sleep, when i felt like crying because it was really horrible.

00:23:10: But you need to pull through.

00:23:12: and now we are here.

00:23:13: so this is again proof of that.

00:23:16: this the right decision not listening in a voice to these doubts this constant commence nasty boys sometime.

00:23:27: We're both Germans and in Germany its quite problem to do mistakes.

00:23:32: Nope, we built cars.

00:23:34: Cars need to be perfect because people could die.

00:23:37: We had great poets and authors And all that stuff.

00:23:39: So for different cultural reasons It somehow is hard For us To make mistakes into tryout things.

00:23:46: I think there are so many People Who struggle to follow the Just do it lesson.

00:23:51: you just said.

00:23:53: What was your key?

00:23:54: I mean i understood.

00:23:55: You said As soon as The noise in my head gets calm And i can relax In a way i'd jump in Do this stuff.

00:24:02: But I guess there's more to it, isn't?

00:24:32: Yeah.

00:24:33: For sure, I've been living in the US for a couple of years and learned a lot from Americans.

00:24:43: My learning there is... From a German point of view okay let me share your story.

00:24:48: so i sold my company to Kayak.

00:24:53: it's the world largest flight search engine.

00:24:57: There are only MIT and Harvard grads working there.

00:25:00: And for me, coming from a small German university, MIT is like wow!

00:25:07: These people are the smartest engineers on earth.

00:25:10: so then I came here.

00:25:12: they said Lars you're German we have problem with quality can be our VP engineering?

00:25:21: So actually made responsible to all engineers Suddenly, I had two hundred engineers working for me.

00:25:27: Ninety percent Harvard and MIT And none of them can code.

00:25:34: they are so bad.

00:25:36: They're so horribly bad if never in my life has seen so bad engineers ever.

00:25:44: but What they learn?

00:25:46: is there really good in business and then talking?

00:25:49: and There i learned that What I think is important like being precise and know your domain And make everything perfect.

00:25:58: It's not important.

00:26:00: The perception other people have the business mindset all these things These people haven't.

00:26:07: this is what they learn.

00:26:08: They learned how to do business, and there are the best in the world.

00:26:12: absolutely it's stunning.

00:26:14: Just don't let them quote something.

00:26:17: but for that we have AI now.

00:26:21: um And now you said, okay these moments of being calm or just doing it.

00:26:27: They help to overcome your fears and you just dive into that.

00:26:30: Now the problem is quite a few decisions aren't one way doors so you could always take them back right?

00:26:37: You can have sit in Vietnam at night crying out loud feeling alone say I rewind everything.

00:26:44: So making this decision was only one thing but sticking with it as totally different.

00:26:51: What makes you stick to your decisions even though it gets hard?

00:26:58: And that is always my motto.

00:27:25: This is what I'm following, because... and i think this also what we are suffering Because We have a society where everybody expects quick rewards and quick successes?

00:27:43: In the time of social media you see all these amazing successful people.

00:27:49: So People Think like How it's so easy to be successful and why doesn't work for me.

00:27:57: but, For sure on social media you don't see the hardship.

00:28:00: For sure You don't See all the failures.

00:28:04: Nobody talks about that Yeah?

00:28:05: You only see successes And there gives a complete wrong perception of how The world is In the end.

00:28:14: anything what Is valuable or worth for your life.

00:28:19: We need Work hard for.

00:28:24: I'm also Rocky Balboa fans.

00:28:26: So maybe next time when they're doing a big beach party We do the motto of boxing.

00:28:29: so coming in boxer pants with some gloves on

00:28:34: You want to box?

00:28:35: No Let's change topics.

00:28:38: let's talk about your fourth thing

00:28:43: as A little bit connected To that is That, so When i was fifteen years old it Was Eighty five In eighty-five, only weirdos went to the gym.

00:29:04: Arnold Schwarzenegger or bodybuilder normal people didn't go to the gyms.

00:29:11: Gyms culture like we have today.

00:29:13: that doesn't exist.

00:29:14: so for me I never understood when i think about young people my young nephews and cousins.

00:29:22: they had such an advantage.

00:29:24: They can go with sixteen in the gym and with eighteen or nineteen Fabulous.

00:29:28: They look fabulous, yeah?

00:29:31: I didn't know it.

00:29:32: there was no internet.

00:29:34: There was nobody who tell you go to the gym Do some proper workout and build some muscles Yeah And built a healthy body and Strength.

00:29:49: physical strength gives you mental armor To goes through difficulties like we said.

00:29:58: any sport But particularly, so my experience is physical strength because there are also people who do marathon running or something.

00:30:08: My view that doesn't help much but in the end humans are different.

00:30:12: whatever somebody likes yeah?

00:30:15: For me it's the physical strengths and if I could go back in time... ...I would have tried to tell him he had gone into a gym and trained a little bit.

00:30:27: It's not to be a bodybuilder, just to be clear... Just a basic proper setup because I didn't know it!

00:30:37: Funnily enough the body seems to be some kind of showing off your inner self in general?

00:30:44: I mean i can remember..I was sitting at my doctor And she was taking blood from me.

00:30:49: She also knew her relative of mine and said oh yeah ..i checked her blood as well ...and shes in good health even though shes slightly to fat, to be honest.

00:30:58: And I said yes might get problematic and she said yes but this is her armor against the outer world that you know gains fat in a way that she feels secure and safe.

00:31:08: and funnily enough The same thing happens the other way around.

00:31:11: i went to a boxing club... ...and then at Boxing Club..I can remember once there was an actor he came ..and for total week He didn't appear into training.

00:31:20: what's wrong?

00:31:21: What have been doing?

00:31:24: close my shoes for a whole week because it's so demanding here.

00:31:28: And I took look at the other members and realized almost all of them were quite aggressive, insecure

00:31:33: people.".

00:31:34: Then as the trainer said what is wrong?

00:31:36: Why are these people

00:31:37: here?".

00:31:38: They feel insecure.

00:31:39: this why they stick to aggressiveness.

00:31:42: training helps them to canalize in positive way and learn values.

00:31:47: What happened to you then?

00:31:50: Did she do sports from them on really intensely?

00:31:52: or what was your way out of this insecurity.

00:31:56: That's a little bit too long story, so yes I did martial arts when i was young, Taekwondo...I really liked it but I have health problems.

00:32:04: So I broke my left femur here four times in my life already.

00:32:12: Four times like seven with fourteen With nineteen and forty

00:32:20: four.

00:32:22: And so nobody knows why.

00:32:26: the doctors nowadays back in the days, uh technology was not good enough.

00:32:30: and now they say like yeah it doesn't really matter but you broke it so much that bone is fucked up.

00:32:38: this what is?

00:32:38: sometimes I work weird.

00:32:41: This is because of that.

00:32:42: Yeah Because i have a big metal in there.

00:32:47: every single time when I did extensive sport, that happened.

00:32:52: So...I love to run!

00:32:55: Whenever i start running and literally I broke my leg running so..i did run in the school all way through class break my legs.

00:33:09: you know how traumatic this is?

00:33:10: When your are at school everybody's in their classes It's a silent hallway because I'm late.

00:33:17: And then you break your leg, it hurts like shit and then you need to cry for help... ...and the door is open!

00:33:24: And like seven hundred students come out and look at you.... ...it's not nice to be clear.

00:33:32: The last time was on the treadmill in the gym.

00:33:35: So just running around the treadmill and it snapped again.

00:33:38: so... I'm a slow learner, so i am not running.

00:33:42: So you will never see me running ever again.

00:33:48: What's your interpretation of this?

00:33:49: what do you think your buddy wants to tell by the extreme reaction ?

00:33:58: I don't really sure if we should go there.

00:34:00: That is very good and deep question.

00:34:02: I am happy to answer it but goes little bit deeper.

00:34:09: When was young ,I wasn´t nice guy.

00:34:14: My dream was actually to go to the army and kill people.

00:34:22: So where you said, You were clear!

00:34:24: You want be a football star?

00:34:26: my dream was French foreign legion which is completely insane To Be Clear.

00:34:34: And I went also in Germany to the worst.

00:34:40: what can get The mountain hunters?

00:34:45: and I broke my leg the second time.

00:34:48: And for first, when was having a fight with that guy.

00:34:53: but still don't listen to me body.

00:34:56: yeah it happens again and then they're still listening in an only later than i will still any army i had assigned as it is uh... and doctor didn't treated well.

00:35:07: So because they didn't give me antibiotics, I nearly died.

00:35:12: Because i got blood poisoning and fell in a coma.

00:35:15: They rushed to the hospital And when I woke up it closed my eyes.

00:35:20: It was unclear if ever can see again.

00:35:24: Then you lay there pre-iphone Pre internet In the hospital far away from home so no friends around.

00:35:33: You cant see shit.

00:35:36: That is a good way to think about the life decisions you made in your life, and I realized that maybe this isn't right for my life.

00:35:52: Maybe the universe has given me a slap... ...that what i'm trying there was not the right thing?

00:36:01: And I changed my stance on bringing more love & peace sounds really... Sounds really greasy and weird, but to bring more love and peace into the world.

00:36:13: And since then things are much better!

00:36:17: Did I get this right?

00:36:18: You also go slowly through life.

00:36:22: is that correct?

00:36:23: because you said... ...you never see me run.

00:36:26: did it transfer your way of thinking?

00:36:32: Wow i've never thought about that.

00:36:37: no yes or no.

00:36:41: So you should ask my team.

00:36:43: I think very quickly, but the problem is that... ...I suffer from what you just said in the beginning You know?

00:36:52: I'm very impatient and then people talk so slow And i already know what they're going to say.

00:36:58: I am three steps further down the road.

00:37:01: So uh..so I pace myself.

00:37:06: The weird thing is Impatient patient person you will know.

00:37:12: I'm very impatient and small things And i'm, very very very patient for the long run.

00:37:19: so Because good Things need a while

00:37:24: yeah?

00:37:25: I learned that The Good Travels slow.

00:37:27: So sometimes it feels in life That all the bad people or the bully guys.

00:37:31: You Know They get along and they Get rich and they get successful.

00:37:34: but i guess the good behavior It just travels slower okay.

00:37:39: So if I count it correctly, one more thing is missing.

00:37:42: Last one...I just look in my notes and that's also something i wish would have known when I am younger which is perfectionist the enemy of progress!

00:37:56: I'm a very German perfect person.

00:37:59: everything needs to be perfect.

00:38:01: then you do your product before you can release it but at end is perfection, it's just procrastination and I don't know kind of procrastination in a suit.

00:38:22: You want to look perfect but you just don't dare get feedback Yeah?

00:38:30: You need to be bold and own your mistakes.

00:38:33: Get feedback learn from it iterate fast Ship it ugly, fix it.

00:38:42: Get better very quickly... By the way that's one attitude I see a lot in Vietnam and i'm struggling with because here is not perfection but fear of judgement.

00:38:56: so people don't want to deliver if its not perfect.

00:39:02: they feel like it isn´t good enough.

00:39:05: And thats'a big problem World and I wish you would have known that earlier because i did a couple of products in the past.

00:39:14: And i think we could've done much better if your just faster quicker adopt more, and ready also for negative feedback.

00:39:25: it's so funny i heard this sentence that perfectionism is insecurities on high heels.

00:39:31: know you just said its all so procrastination in a suit.

00:39:35: Do you consider this aspect of trying to be perfect, that it appears together with a certain way of thinking or acting or behaving?

00:39:44: Is there character trait behind perfectionism.

00:39:47: Absolutely!

00:39:48: It's connected to insecurities because if your secure and you're bold like okay its not perfect.

00:39:57: I know what do think about give me honest feedback, and even if the people say like this is good.

00:40:04: This sucks!

00:40:05: Thank

00:40:06: you!".

00:40:07: By the way one learning I had was also once again more confidence in my life... ...I usually ask for negative feedback because i don't need to hear that im awesome.

00:40:22: I know it deep inside myself but for sure i can do better.

00:40:29: I can do a lot better and i'm not perfect.

00:40:32: And so any feedback where somebody would say like hey, here this could have been done better or you should've said that my coach is sitting there.

00:40:44: he does it alot telling me these things.

00:40:48: thats very helpful for me because then i can learn something.

00:40:54: I can remember, once interviewed a coach who was specialized in the top one percent.

00:40:59: He said that he wanted to work with the top-one percent athletes business people poker players whatsoever.

00:41:05: and he said quite the same thing.

00:41:09: most people struggle become successful because they only give eighty percent.

00:41:14: The reason for this is that they are afraid not make it to the top.

00:41:18: And if so... They could always say oh..I didn't gave at all.

00:41:22: I just said, eighty percent.

00:41:23: I would have could've done it if i only gave one hundred percent.

00:41:27: and now on the other hand there's this aspect what you just mentioned done is better than perfect right?

00:41:33: so i'm curious how did you manage to overcome this fear?

00:41:37: And this thinking of okay...I don't want to show until its perfect.

00:41:41: let's get out with that.

00:41:43: How did she do that?

00:41:45: To Get It Off To Get Out.

00:41:48: My answer to you that I don't listen to the inner voice.

00:41:52: That's a key.

00:41:53: so it just Just, I mean sounds like Nike.

00:41:56: but just do it.

00:41:58: Don't think about it.

00:42:00: Just do it.

00:42:02: and And I I strongly believe that this is The key for success because once you eye start to question myself I am not giving my best, i will NOT be the best.

00:42:23: And by the way there is also a large fear to be successful!

00:42:29: It was like if you give one hundred percent what if i win that?

00:42:35: Am i good enough then do i deserve it ?

00:42:39: Will i be the person and can i sustain this pace?

00:42:48: One sport guy, I don't know the word right now.

00:42:56: One person I admire is Markus Ruhl.

00:42:59: He's a German bodybuilder who had tremendous successes.

00:43:06: It was an absolute asshole.

00:43:10: He says this about himself, to be clear.

00:43:12: And then later he realized and changed his life... ...and gives very open interviews and speaks very well of his life.

00:43:26: The thing is that once you are Mr Olympia,... ...you're on a completely different stress to get it again!

00:43:40: inevitable at a certain point because young people and new people come up.

00:43:44: And that's really difficult, so for me it is like the same.

00:43:47: what if I'm successful?

00:43:49: Yeah i made a successful startup!

00:43:52: What if my next start-up was not successful... ...and then fail

00:43:56: again?!

00:43:59: So maybe.... Maybe I am successful but just don't try a second time.

00:44:09: So there is a certain truth in that.

00:44:11: I mean success also makes lonely, right?

00:44:14: There's only usually one on the top.

00:44:16: from what i hear it's quite hard to be successful as well because Only few people can relate you anymore.

00:44:29: Hello okay so yes Absolutely Well, I'm not a successful Sport person but as a successful entrepreneur.

00:44:43: I can absolutely confirm that You get lonely because if you start the company it's like a family, you know?

00:44:53: You eat together your team you do everything together and These are the people who spend...I don't know...Eighteen hours a day together And then later When the company becomes bigger and bigger, and suddenly you're a person who decided if.

00:45:12: You get a race or you got fired at that there's a power shift to their and it's very difficult to create friendships which can go through that.

00:45:27: And in the end I learned a hard way, over the last twenty years i had at least one hundred people... ...I spent years or sometimes decades with me who told to be friends but then they leave their company and just gone out of my life!

00:45:45: They never contact again.

00:45:50: That hurts.. But it's also In every table, it's how life is because in the end if I'm The guy who decides if you get a raise or not We can't be equal friends.

00:46:05: Because we are not equal yeah and that That is not good basis of foundation for friendship.

00:46:16: Maybe my last question before we try to summarize all your five aspects What do people look like?

00:46:22: You surround yourself with

00:46:27: Very good question, I love it.

00:46:30: So i have a passion for growth... ...I love to grow people so I try to surround myself with people who are hungry for growth and this is exactly the reason why I am in this country because people here pre-dominantly super hungry for success.

00:46:50: That is also the reason why majority of my team are female because they're even more hungry for success.

00:46:57: And I get a large happiness, content and good feelings out of seeing these people grow!

00:47:09: Tonight we have our year-end party which was big thing in Vietnam... ...and this year decided to invite our alumni The ones in good standing.

00:47:21: so i invited people which we haven't reached out sometimes for years and I wrote them an email answer like hey you have been.

00:47:30: part of the journey.

00:47:31: You have been a part of our success and we would love to invite you to party with us, yeah?

00:47:37: And some of emails I got back were heartbreaking because people wrote me.

00:47:43: after three years they wrote me.

00:47:45: my god it's so meaningful!

00:47:47: They are forever thankful for their time there...and i'm very really happy.

00:47:53: that makes me super happy.

00:47:55: So long answer in short answers People who want to grow and I can help to grow.

00:48:04: Okay, Mr Lasyankovsky number one forget the imposter syndrome.

00:48:09: just do it be bold and brave.

00:48:11: Number two silence is more important than talking.

00:48:14: The listening is more Important Than Talking.

00:48:17: Number three Just Do It.

00:48:19: Doing Is Better Than Just Wanting.

00:48:21: To.

00:48:21: Number Four Physical Strength Might Be An Armour For Your Soul.

00:48:26: And Last But Not Least Perfectionist The Enemy Of Progress Forget Perfectionism.

00:48:31: Does this feel complete?

00:48:34: Certainly not, but I mean it's top five... ...but we don't want to sit here until the next three days and you don't wanna listen me so.. ..I think its good enough!

00:48:45: Well then thanks a lot.

00:48:45: in what do YOU guys think was that

00:49:04: alright?!